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Little Girl Confidence- Student Speak English Fluently Appreciate UHD1080p .mp4
Listen to my words.” It’s a phrase parents use all the time. But what are we really saying? When it comes to raising confident girls, we may be giving them contradictory messages. We want them to be leaders but criticize them for being bossy. We build their self-esteem and then undercut the message by talking about how fat, forgetful or stupid we are.
What we say and do can inadvertently reinforce the very gender stereotypes we are so keen to dismantle. “Our words and actions have a powerful impact on our children,” says Vancouver therapist Michele Kambolis. So what should we say to bolster girls’ confidence, teach them responsibility and encourage them to follow their dreams—while also helping them learn from their mistakes and instilling a good work ethic? (Parenting really is one of the toughest management jobs out there.) Here are eight rules for nurturing the next generation of leaders.
Rule #1: Let her play
Don’t get hung up on what your daughter wants to play, whether it’s princesses or highway patrol. While we may view one as traditionally female and another as male, to little kids, it’s all the same, so there’s no need to categorize. Just encourage her to pursue her own passions.
Rule #2: Give her a say
If we expect our daughters to make good decisions once they reach the corner office, they will need lots of practice. Let her have an age-appropriate say in matters that affect her, advises Grant. Her daughter has weighed in on what she wears and which extracurricular activities she does since an early age. “She is also included in deciding how we spend our family time and on how we divide household responsibilities,” she says.
This doesn’t mean you simply hand over the reins. Talk through all the various factors of making a decision, suggests Beth Malcolm, director of the Girls’ Fund at the Canadian Women’s Foundation. “And once she’s made up her mind, she needs to learn to deal with the consequences,” Malcolm says. So if your daughter decides not to wear rain boots on a field trip, don’t go dropping them off at the first sign of drizzle. Later on, however, empathize with her about how yucky soggy socks feel. “They need to know that they aren’t all on their own, that they are supported.”
Rule #3: Let her toot her own horn
Avoid squelching your daughter’s natural exuberance and pride. As they get older, some girls get embarrassed when they’re singled out—whether it’s for winning the 100-metre dash or the science fair—and even try to downplay their accomplishments. And this tendency can intensify over time. (Let’s be honest: How good are you at taking a compliment?)
In the long run, self-effacement can lead to a loss of confidence. So if your daughter shares that she got a great mark on a test, don’t tell her it’s impolite to brag—celebrate her success with an enthusiastic, “Fantastic! All your hard work paid off.” Or if your preschooler proudly shows you her latest drawing, be sure to share in her delight. You don’t have to proclaim her an artistic genius, though—the key is to praise the effort, not the result. “Recent research tells us when we overdo it in terms of praise, we can do more harm than good,” says Kambolis.
Rule #4: Resilience must be earned
While we want the best for our kids, sometimes the best thing we can do for them is to let them struggle—even if it’s just enduring soggy socks (see Rule #2). “We want them to be happy at all times, and we do a tremendous amount of work to make things easier for them,” says Jennifer Kolari, a child therapist and author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise a Great Kid. “But if you create a perfect, carefree childhood, they aren’t going to be able to handle adversity when it happens.” This is doubly important for girls, who often see themselves portrayed in books and media as damsels in distress. Knowing that you’re capable of handling difficult situations on your own can be a very powerful lesson.
Rule #5: Avoid the B-word
As ambitious women have learned for generations, Type A women are “bossy,” while Type A men have “leadership skills.” And since bossy isn’t exactly seen as a desirable quality (last year Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg launched a social campaign to banbossy), it’s time to scrub it from your vocabulary.
That doesn’t mean your daughter deserves a free pass on rude behaviour, though. “When I see my older daughter acting ‘bossy,’ I don’t slap a label on it,” says mother Sonia Giampietro. Instead, she talks about better ways to communicate ideas and collaborate with others. #littlegirl #Americanenglish #confidence
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