Allowance: the fifth of the 5 A's of Mindful Loving. During the Novitiate, Brother Angelo took his time to teach me about mindful allowance. Only later did he mention that he got trained in this by David Richo, the man who wrote the book "How to be an adult in Relationship".
He taught me that undivided love comes from entering into states of mindfulness. This is important. Giving loving allowance to others comes easily when I'm in this state because I'm engaging with the other in a respectful and curious manner.
He mentioned that to be a person in undivided love, I must love and allow myself to be, I also need to get allowance from others who love me and I too must give loving allowance to those I want to love.
I believe that the 5 ways of love, of mindful loving, can be a source of personal growth that can lead to relational growth. Ultimately, we are not asking the other person to change...we are becoming more mindfully aware, changing ourselves and learning the ways to show love without needing to control the other person.
This mindful allowance training that Br. Angelo gave to me was difficult and took time for me to enter into, but it has been a major benefit for me and for others throughout my journey. I hope it can help you too in loving yourself, be more allowing of yourself and also lovingly allow others to be their true selves in your life.
Intro Music thanks to "O little while" by Joe Zambon
Outro Music thanks to "Hall of Fame" by The Script
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